Jack & Corinne’s Corner
Welcome to Jack & Corinne’s Corner, where we share with you our thoughts and experiences about how to build the kind of relationship you always dreamed of having. Periodically we will update this page with a new topic, so be sure and come back!
CORINNE: I’m seeing a lot of research lately on how, to put it bluntly, a lousy sex life is a major cause of unhappy marriages and, even, of divorce.
JACK: I’m not surprised. Couples still have a hard time talking about this stuff. In most couples, one member has a higher sex drive than the other and, as his or her frustration grows, begins to fantasize or even be open to an affair.
CORINNE: I can see where it would create a downward spiral: the person who feels frustrated takes out his or her frustration on the other partner who, in turn, then feels even less inclination to be intimate, which just adds to the frustration level. So, if the couple can’t talk to each other about the problem, how do they reverse the spiral?
JACK: Well, ultimately, with or without the help of a counselor, they have to talk to each other or the marriage goes south be default. But the real question is, how can couples get prepared to initiate or participate in an open conversation about their sex life?
CORINNE: I assume that was a rhetorical question and you are going to tell me.
JACK: Ah, you know me so well. A lot of the time, the problem is simply a lack of information. Fortunately, there are three great books out there that I would like to recommend to our readers. If both partners read any one of them, they would have a solid basis for a conversation that could help address the problem.
CORINNE: The three titles are: “The Sex-Starved Marriage” by Michele Weiner-Davis; “Rekindling Desire: A Step By Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages” by Barry and Emily McCarthy; “Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship” by David Schnarch.
After I read them I felt like I understood the whole area so much better. But realistically, I don’t think most people would read three books on anything, even sex. So if you had to pick one, which one would you recommend?
JACK: The most reader-friendly and practical, in my opinion, is “The Sex-Starved Marriage”. Michele has a way of fully understanding both the man’s and the woman’s points of view that is reassuring. If you are dissatisfied with your sex life and have felt inhibited to talk about it with your partner, this is the book for you.